if you do understand, they don’t expect you to care. And even if you care, they don’t expect you to do anything about it. And even if you do something about it, they don’t expect it to last.”Those are the words of teenagers Bret and Alex Harris on the back cover of their book, Do Hard Things – a teenage rebellion against low expectations.
These twins are the younger brothers of Joshua Harris (I kissed dating goodbye and Quit Dating the Church) and they are fed up with the low expectations that the modern world has for teenagers. Historically teenagers didn’t even exist until the last 60 years (or at least the term), and pre 1900’s there wasn’t even really a recognized period of adolescence. Children simply grew into adulthood by the early to mid teens assuming adult roles and expectations. Today many adults remain in adolescence into the mid to late twenties, maybe even early thirties, fighting the acceptance of adult responsibilities and denial of those expectations.
The brothers compare the responsibilities and expectations of the youth of our modern generation to those of the past and there is an evident degeneration that has taken place, especially within the last 20-30 years. In the past people have used their energy, capacity for learning, and youth during this period of life to accomplish great feats, diligently prepare for their careers, start families, and contribute to society – and this was the expectations. In their research, the twins found a web article titled, “A Parent’s Guide to Surviving the Teen Years” which boasted about setting and sticking to expectations. Some examples of those expectations were as follows.
- Make your bed daily
-Take down phone messages
-Clean your room once a week(with the parents help)
For Older Teens (ages 15 and up)
-All expectations for preteens
-Do ONE daily chore (like taking out the trash)
-Make sure the gas gauge on the family car does not go below a forth a tank
-Clean your room once a week (by yourself)
Obviously (prayerfully) most parents have at least a few more expectations than these. But come on, is this all that our teenagers are truly capable of!The reality is even most teenagers believe that even this can sometimes be asking too much and gripe about those. (I know I did.) As a youth pastor there are times when I ask some of my students who are supposed to be leaders to do some things and they whine or find a way to wimp out because of their lack of confidence. We have robbed PEOPLE – not teenagers, because everyone grows to an adult – of opportunities to grow stronger, wiser, and more mature in a time when they are MOST capable of doing so. In a sense we sedate our youth and confine them to good grades, good manners, and good times; damaging their future health as individuals.
So Alex and Brett have set personal goals and are challenging all ages, especially teenagers, to do hard things. Not hard things like Sudoku or jigsaw puzzles, lifting massive weight, or breaking records found the Guinness Book, but things that change you and those around you.
They’ve recognized 5 categories of Hard Things.
1- Things that are out of your comfort zone
2- Things that go beyond what is required or expected
3- Things that are too big to accomplish alone
4- Things that don’t earn an immediate payoff
5- Things that challenge the cultural norm
Don’t let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity.
Find out more info on authors, the book and the rebelution.
1 comment:
This is a good read. Great points you made.
We're working on us and the Hortons coming Sunday....we've attemped a couple of weeks now, but hopefully things will fall into place this week.
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